if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
I can’t believe NERV bought Tumblr.
Now they’ll close Shinji’s blog and force him to get in the fucking robot
You Can (Not) Reblog
do you ever look at somebody and wonder how they moan during sex
no but thanks now i have a new habit forced upon me whenever i go out
i think about this post at the most inappropriate times and it has ruined my life
if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
silhouetteofapocketedindividual:
I bet that in the future movies wont even need actors, they’ll just create the characters using computers and stuff
animation. thats the thing you described.
i need some time to think my thoughts
The two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school
EVERY TIME I SEE THIS GODDAMN FUCKING NGIF I START LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY ITS ONE OF THE BEST FUCKING THINGSI VE EVER SEEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SHES JUST ABOUT TO SPIN AROUND AND THEN SUDDENLY SHEJ UST FUCKING FLIES OFF IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE LIEK WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE DO THAT WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT I WOULD BE TERRIFIED THATS NO T HOW FLYING WORKS WHOEVER MADE THIS GIF WAS A FUCKING GENIUS AND I HOPE THEY WIN A NOBEL PRIZE
i shit you fucking not i got weepinzard first try and now i can’t stop laughing at his dumb face and his dumb name
No, you don’t understand.
This actually happens.
We got a 16 year old boy on our unit once, because Pediatrics was full, and it’s about 1 in the morning and all the nurses are at the nurses station having a break and we’re all talking and having a laugh and then all of a sudden this kids heart monitor just goes CRAZY.
So we call the code and I grab the crash cart and about 6 of us just take off running down the hall and we bust in the room and this kid is just sitting there with his hand around his junk looking MORTIFIED.
So we just sort of backed out of the room quietly, walked calmly to the stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown.
It was the funniest shit ever.
Omigod so many nurses have told me stories like these.
MY 11 YEAR OLD MADE A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT I CANT BREATHE???????
this video changed my life
I subscribed to him and it was the best decision of my life
tHIS IS MY HERO
david-tennants-little-fangirl:
my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance
hahaha
i just read gay porn
